Lost
by EO-Hiphuggers
Summary: <html><head></head>Based on the events in the season 8 episodes 'This is Not Happening' & 'Deadalive.' Scully's POV when Mulder is in the hospital. This, in my opinion is the missing scene from this episode. Please R&R if possible, thanks :</html>


**Lost**

_Based on the events in 'This is not happening' & 'Deadalive.' This is my take on Scully's POV when Mulder is in the hospital._

As I sat there, staring at him hooked up to machines, I felt tears begin to trickle from my already teary eyes. I could feel it in my heart that my baby felt my pain too. It wasn't many months ago, that I had finally told him about the baby, and he had been so supportive- something I was very appreciative of at this particular time in my life. I would never admit it to him, but I was and had been experiencing fear for quite some time now, and something told me that he knew even though he never said anything- I just sensed it from the way he acted around me. I was fearful for many things; as a lot of expecting mothers are, but my case was different. I was fearful because I didn't know what this baby was; I didn't know if it was human or to use Mulder's language, 'extra terrestrial.'

Mulder and I had been through so much these past 8 years, and I trusted him more than anyone else on this planet or even in this universe and I know that he trusted me the same even though he lived by the motto, 'Trust No-one." I seemed to be the only person that he broke that rule for. I had taken his disappearance extremely bad, and I felt as if half of me was missing. It was true, and now I was ready to admit it- Mulder completed me. I realised when he disappeared how much I valued him, both personally and professionally, and how much I needed him in my life. Without him, I felt lost.

As I watched his chest forced to rise and fall because of the machines, I couldn't bare to think about what I would do if he didn't make it through this; after all, he was extremely sick. I remembered when I had been ill with the cancer, how he had done everything in his power to look after me. On nights when I was really bad, I'd call him and he'd come straight over to stay with me. I'd curl up in his arms and forget everything that was going on. I could still feel his lips on my forehead; he always kissed me in the same spot. Usually if any other partner had tried to be intimate like that with me, I would not have allowed them, but Mulder was everything to me. He was like my cure because when I was with him; by his side, I felt like I was on top of the world again. You might even say he was my soul mate. I couldn't bring myself to leave his side.

It is now a few hours later, and I feel a sense of relief wash over me, even though he is not out of the woods yet. They have taken him off the machines, and somehow, miraculously, he is getting a little stronger as the hours go by. I was banished from his room by the nurses when they discovered that by taking him off life-support he would begin to get better, and I have just been allowed back. Since he disappeared and I learned that I might lose him, I felt like my entire life was coming crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. As I open the door to his room, and see him lying there looking so peaceful and beautiful, I feel emotions that I've had bottled up for quite some time escaping through my eyes.

I didn't even realise it, but I somehow I had made my way over to his bedside. I brush my hand over his and then I bring it up to the side of his face and gently caress his cheek. I watch as two teardrops pool beside my hand. I rest my head on his chest and listen as his heart slowly beats; It is a comfort to know that he still has blood pumping through his veins. I feel myself welling up and I pray that he can hear what I'm about to say. I sit down in the chair next to the bed, and take his hand in mine again.

"Mulder," I whisper softly, "Mulder, I know you can hear me." I gently caress his hand, in the hope that he will squeeze it back. "Mulder, I just need you to know that," I feel myself ready to burst into more sobs, but I force myself to continue, "that I love you and I, we need you our lives." I rub my stomach and lean forward to rest my head on the bed beside his hand. I finish with a whisper of "you have to make it through this." I feel that I may be too late, and I mentally kick myself for not confessing my love for him sooner, however, on some level, I think we both have known for a very long time about our affections for each other.

Suddenly, I feel movement on the bed. I feel that I'm hallucinating and that it's not real, until I feel a hand on the back of my head, tangled in my hair. I know that touch. I have felt it many times before. I slowly lift my head to see these hazel brown eyes looking down at me. I try to stop myself sobbing as a gasp of "Mulder" escapes my lips involuntarily. He squeezes my hand and keeps staring into my eyes. This is all I need in order to know that everything is going to be okay. I feel myself touching his face again as I close my eyes and lean forward to meet his lips. I feel him kiss back and as he pulls back from me and sweeps some hair out of my face, he croaks, "Scully?" I waited patiently for him to continue, "Marry me." I don't even have to think about it. "Yes" I reply quickly, tears welling in my eyes again. I kiss him again and then rest my head on his chest. He has his arm around me in an embrace. I can relax now and stop being on edge. Mulder is back and I know he isn't going anywhere. We have our future together to look forward to with this baby. Even though it was a miracle conception, and it's not Mulder's, he wants to be the father to this baby. I know he is going to make a great dad, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. It kills me inside to know that I can never give him a biological child of his own, but no-one will love this baby more than Mulder. He told me before he disappeared that all that matters is that we have each other- I wouldn't want to have it any other way.


End file.
